I’ve long had the Y&Y theory about travelling.
How many times have you been chased away by bitey things from what was otherwise the perfect spot?
I mean, England may be a little bit grey and damp, but I honestly never saw one cockroach until I travelled overseas.
So, while I’m not about to give it all up just yet, it’s just worth remembering that there’s frequently a small downside to all the cool stuff.
But you’re still jealous, right?
1. You get to experience paradise/who knew paradise had so many mosquitoes?
2. You can enjoy beautiful weather every day/ I didn't know I could sweat so much.
3. Eventually the rain comes and cools everywhere down/yup, mosquitoes again, they love the wet.
4. You get to try exotic foods from a whole new culture/ you stop being able to buy exotic foods from all other cultures.
5. You can’t remember the last time you wore shoes and socks/ you have two missing toenails and an angry red skin complaint caused by alternatively covering your insect bitten feet in sun cream then bug spray.
6. You realise what a nanny state you’ve suffered all your life/you start to doubt the safety of buses when there is three to a seat, a full aisle and people on the roof.
7. Everything is incredibly cheap/your wages are very low.
8. Football is like the good old days – you can turn up at five minutes to kick off and it's cheap enough to take the whole family/ you can’t remember the last time you saw a decent pass, never mind a goal.
9. You seem to have so much more time/you spend it on the toilet.
10. It’s so peaceful and quiet/ drums fingers, looks around, whistles, sighs.